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Health & Fitness

Action Guy Cliche's!

Well, last night was no break either.  Miss Miranda would have nothing of sleepy time.   After about 3 am my strong wife, being of unfathomable fortitude rose from her slumber to entertain the young puddum, allowing me my rest.  Bless her heart!  Have NO idea how she does this!

Well, yesterday was...well... a Tuesday.  That's kind of our Monday round here.  Every week it's like everyone is starting a real old car.  Once running (Monday) they give it the gas and push it, but once they are finally moving they think caution is the best scenario so they let off the gas a little (Tuesday) but once their down the road a little they realize their destination is further then they think so they give it a little more of a tweak to the engine (Wednesday) until they hit the interstate and really open her up (Thursday) until they hit their destination (Friday) and once arrived take the time to REALLY enjoy their surroundings (Saturday).  So today is Wednesday, "Hump Day" (and so help me, if I see another picture of a camel on Facebook I'm gonna shoot somebody!  It was funny, ONCE people!) and seeing as I got some more goodies yesterday I will be attempting to get them banged out for this weekend!  Managed to put out three yesterday!   That AWESOME BCA cruiser and TWO matching Huffy Road bikes!  HUFFY?! you ask?  Yes.  They may be HEAVY, but for cross trainers, there is NOTHING better to beef up your legs!  And they ONLY cost $75.00 a pop?  A REAL bargain!

OK FOLKS!  It's MOVIE TIME!

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Hit Red Box this weekend and picked up a few.  One of them being the 2012 release of Tom Cruise's "Jack Reacher".  Based on the series of books written by Jim Grant, AKA Lee Child.

"In an innocent heartland city, five are shot dead by an expert sniper. The police quickly identify and arrest the culprit, and build a slam-dunk case. But instead of confessing, the accused man writes the words, "Get Jack Reacher." Reacher himself sees the news report and turns up in the city. The defense is immensely relieved, but Reacher has come to bury the guy. Shocked at the accused's request, Reacher sets out to confirm for himself the absolute certainty of the man's guilt, but comes up with more than he bargained for."  (Plagiarized from IMDB)

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Much to the chagrin of my lovely wife, she allowed me to view this flick last night.  I say this thusly, as she is NOT a fan of Mr. Cruise (really since the whole Kati Holmes debacle) But I still regularly enjoy his films.  Truth be told the MOST I have ever been white knuckled, spine tingling, eye wincing thrilled was during the skyscraper scene in Mission Impossible 4.  WHAT A RUSH!!

I was not as impressed with Jack Reacher.  As the blurb states, Cruise' protagonist is an ex-military drifter, who has chosen to fly "under the wire" since leaving his duties.  Carrying nothing but the clothes on his back, and his pension money (Western Unioned, in cash) he travels about the country having  no permanent home.  A real modern day "man's man" he takes odd jobs and solves the occasional crime (think Bill Bixby's, "Incredible Hulk") (SPOILER ALERTS APLENTY!) When he sees the news that a young sniper he had prosecuted for unauthorized shootings while with the military in Iraq, has been arrested for what "Appears" to be a random shooting spree, he ventures forth to "Bury Him" as the young man being interrogated for the murders scribbles on a piece of paper "Get Jack Reacher".  The DA and lead investigator call up Reachers record, discover he is not wanted for, or running from anything, but is in effect, a ghost.  And in true Hollywood dramatic fashion, as the two are pondering the monumental task of trying to find someone with the training to NOT be found, who should walk into their office?  YOU guessed it!

The typical investigation ensues, with Jack slowly discovering that not only is this more then it seems, but it is becoming more and more obvious that it is an elaborate frame job, and in fact NOT a random shooting at all, but a targeted hit on one person.  The other 4 victims were a smoke screen.

So here are a laundry list of problems I had with the film, in no particular order.

Perhaps I'm just getting a little to mature for the gratuitous needs of some casting agents to put voluptuous females in lead roles, or maybe it's not so much that, but do they NEED to be dressed so OBVIOUSLY?  Rosamund Pike plays the lead female, Helen.  For the majority of the film she is either attired in a tight form fitting blouse, or a low cut (to the point of making Hugh Hefner blush!) top with the prerequisite "lean forward and pull your arms tight to your side" shots!  OK.  She has big boobs.  WE GET IT!!

I've never understood some "who-done-it" stories where the assailant is revealed in the very beginning, unless the movie is IN FACT a court room drama (think "A Few Good Men").  And it is doubly confusing in this flick.  In the very beginning as you witness the perpetrator meticulously preparing for the crime, his face is never revealed.  Close ups of hands preparing rifle rounds, back of the head shots, worms eye view of feet, close up of a gloved hand putting a coin in a parking meter at the scene of the crime (and exactly WHERE do they have parking meters IN a parking garages?).  But then, at the point of the crime, you see his face?  So what was the initial secrecy for? Because shortly there after as the police storm in and arrest the "Suspect" you clearly see, it's NOT the same guy!  

As all good "Who-done-its" needs a  twist, this one slowly reveals that their is an "Inside Man" helping to orchestrate the plot.  But it's REALLY no secret!  From the very beginning of the film, you can see that the TRUE shooter wears latex gloves through every stage of the crime and it's preparations.  Then, the lead investigator comes onto the scene and as he is perusing the crime scene "INSTINCTIVELY" knows where to look for clues and evidence?  For one who had been shown to be taking extraneous efforts to NOT leave ANY evidence as to his identity, the investigator finds a virtual treasure trove of it!  A quarter in the meter with a PERFECT finger print, fibers, hair samples and most tellingly, as the investigator searches about he knows to look into an unexposed grating for a shell casing, also possessing a perfect finger print.

DUH!  So WHO do YOU think the inside man is!  But that doesn't stop the writer and director from trying to throw in a little misdirection, as they try and make you think it could possibly be the heroines father, the DA. who may be in on the plot.  No dice guys!  You gave it up WAY to quick!

Then there are the misguided set-ups.  I'll explain.  In any good action flick, the good guy has to get his licks, so he can overcome and win the fight.  But this film so BLATANTLY sets them up it's laughable!  And they do it SEVERAL times!  This being a "Tom Cruise" production, he apparently felt the need to eradicate the "Gay" rumors and prove he is a REAL man!  Let the ego flexing begin!  Now, I'm no military man, but I have watched enough action films to KNOW that when entering unfamiliar ground (IE a room) you ALWAYS check your blind spots, before walking in.  He rarely did this, not to mention standing in an open doorway with no regard to his back!  At one point he follows a lead to the home of a co-conspirator.  And here, I should mention, he goes into almost every potential ambush UNARMED?!  As he is now on the second floor, he enters a bathroom and stands staring at a torn down shower curtain (what else would you use to dispose of the corpse of a no longer necessary accomplice) totally oblivious to the toughies creeping up behind him, armed with a baseball bat and crowbar, respectively.  One raps him on the back of the head knocking him into the bathtub.  Now here's where it gets REALLY stupid.  These two behemoth tough guys, packed into a cramp little closet of a bathroom, have Jack dead to rites!  On his back, semi stunned and they start flailing away comically at him, but never hitting him.  No, they keep hitting walls, windows, mirrors, medicine cabinets, EACH OTHER, but NOT him.  Giving him time to gain his composure and beat the tar out of each of them. At one point pinning them to the floor on top of each other and beating both unconscious with each others heads (OK...that was a LITTLE funny). 

Then, there's the grand finale.  The "Man Behind The Curtain" some heavy Russian business man and the big Heavy (plus the prerequisite, dispensable group of lackeys) having captured the helpless heroine (who also did the cliché "stupid thing the good guy told her NOT to do so as to NOT get caught" but then got caught) awaits Jack at an open pit construction site.  PERFECT place for an ambush.   Jack solicits the help of a recently acquired ally to act as sniper, who in turn hands him a weapon (why Jack didn't bring his own is your own guess) in the way of a Bowie Knife?  Daring entry into the compound ensues, the lackeys are dispatched and Jack takes possession of a very formidable semi automatic.  Yes, once again he enters the foreman's trailer NOT checking his corners, realizes it's the WRONG trailer, sees a map, finds the right trailer, dispatches THOSE lackeys and hides in ambush for the head baddie, the REAL sniper.  Now here is where this idiot proves he's JUST as stupid an ex-jarhead as Jack, as he walks out of the trailer, into the brightly lit open, looking down at the bodies of his "Rent-a-thugs" and just....freakin...stands...there!  Giving our star ample time to sashay up behind him, point the muzzle of his formidable fire arm at the back of his neck, and orders him to drop it.  Which he reluctantly does.  He steps back against a girder, with Jack at point blank range, having him dead to rites then raises his weapon....and tosses it aside!?  Oh for the LOVE OF....

Here we enter into the rutting, testosterone fueled, Mano-e-Mano, fisticuffs.  The final smack down as Jack unleashes a torrent of pent up aggression against this really bad man!  Look, in any fight sequence, if unarmed it's only natural you're going to resort to hand to hand in order to survive, but the whole "Settle it like a man" thing kind of hit it's peak in "Lethal Weapon" when Mel Gibson took down Gary Busey.  Personally, I like the casual "WOW, that's a really big bad guy.  I better shoot him" approach Harrison Ford took in "Indiana Jones".  But that's me.

In the end, this one is just a little to overdone with well worn "action flick" scenarios, and contrived plot lines, and transparent twists to be of any real value! I give it two and a half stars.

ANYWHO!

Now, I'd best be back at it, but leave you with pics of yesterday's goodies!

See ya REAL soon!

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